Sass

You know, like, I wanted to take on ten cocks at the bath house while doing blow off the tanned back of a hung sweaty Brazilian… but, no, I chose Brooks Brothers suits and a 30+ year advertising career instead. And there’s no going back now. It’s too late, baby, now it’s too late.

Sometimes I feel unrelenting regret. Tonight is one of those times. Life was simpler when I was 23 and had the world by its balls. It’s so true: if I knew then what I know now I would not have settled into a committed, monogamous relationship at such an early age. (well, my half of the bargain was monogamous at least) What the hell was I thinking?

I’ll tell you what I was thinking: I was in love. Madly. Deeply. Blindly.

And it makes me sad (mad?) that those heart skipping feelings may not happen ever again for me. It’s so grand to be in love. To fall in love; to see no faults while experiencing that magnetic sex dance as the laws of attraction kick in. I remember my EXbf used to ride the damn bus to my cramped studio apartment with an armload of flowers. He’d knock on my apartment door; when I opened the door I’d only see his outstretched arm holding a bouquet as he stood to the side of the doorway. How romantic is that effin’ shit?

Meh. Life is a bitch. I’ve got the memories now. And that black rotting hole in my heart where that love used to live. I hate the holidays. Maybe I really do. They kick up so much bullshit cloaked as the ghost of Christmas past.

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