Oh hai. Yes, it has been ages. I am currently typing this post w my two fat thumbs via my iPhone WordPress app cuz I am currently locked out and unable to access either my laptop or desktop login due to tech gremlins for this site’s admin page. Go eff’n figure. I’ve tried everything I know to do but nothing is allowing access. I will continue to work on what the hell the problem is but until then:

(1) Yesterday while waiting for my UBER a young gay man, early 20s, sashayed across my path long enough for me to note his bubble butt azz in shorty shorts, his military buzz cut, his PRADA sunwear, and his white Birkenstocks that, frankly looked a little girlie to my eye but who am I to judge?!

But nevermind: I’m judging. I have never hated someone so quickly. I hated his confidence to be all out and proud and in your face with the whole ball of “miss thing” razz-matazz. And I hated him for his raw sexuality. At my best, I danced at a club shirtless only once in my life. As I’m now in the Medicare crowd I’m mature enough to own my rampant jealousy. So there’s that.

(2) Midweek I picked up an Rx at the local Walgreen’s and noticed a young woman, early thirties, missing her left arm from just above the elbow. My mind raced with various scenarios: an Australian shark attack while surfing; a birth defect, perhaps. Or maybe it was a horrific dirt bike accident during her bachelorette weekend somewhere in Alabama hill country. I thought of her ghosted groom and a cancelled wedding. She seemed perfectly fine though while I pondered the countless times the ‘wrong shirt’ kept me at home for fear of being judged.

Life is for the living whether you’re sporting a big ass or a missing limb. Be happy with what you’ve got, I guess. I’m not sure if this post contains any deep meaning. And my thumbs are tired.